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Betrayal BurnsBetrayal burns like a hot knife through my soul
Pain, sorrow, heart bleeding,
What once was is no more
Another stands by your side,
Left alone, bereft, abandoned,
Yesterday’s has been no longer the one
We reap what we sow,
I hope you are happy with your choices
Weary tears flow
Forever an eternity alone...
I ripped out my heart todayI ripped out my heart today
I ripped out my heart and threw it away
Since it’s gone, how come it still causes me so much pain?
I died today, I had to say it’s over, goodbye,
The pain of being with you alone was greater
Then the pain of being alone, I told myself
I lied, this hurts so much more
Tears cut like razor blades, streaming down my face
My chest an oozing open wound,
Looking through a veil of watery grey
My beating heart crushed and broken on the floor,
I threw love away, nothing matters any more...
Not the one for youI’m not the one for you
I’ll never be what you need,
If you don’t turn and leave
I’ll only make you bleed.
I’d never want to hurt you,
But I know I always will.
I belong to someone else,
I’ll always be under his spell.
Don’t tell me you love me,
I’ll never say I love you too.
I just need to be wanted,
If only for a while.
I’m not free to be yours,
I’ll never make you smile.
Run before it’s too late.
I’ll only make you cry,
I can’t even tell you why,
My touch is toxic,
My kisses will bring you hell.
Just leave, goodbye, farewell.
SadHe said, “You sound sad.”
Yes, I guess I am.
I miss how things used to be,
I miss how we used to be,
I wonder now was that just a dream,
was that just a might have been,
Seen through a haze, a romantic blaze of love.
Are you avoiding me?
If you want to be set free
Just tell me,
Being single is better than being together alone.
Don’t criticize my poem,
I didn’t write it for you.
Yes this is a selfish indulgent flood of my emotions
Written only for me.
As I sit here thinking of how we used to be,
He said I sound sad,
Well yeah, it’s because I am...
Lighting SkiesPicture a girl, barefoot and free,
Windswept hair streams;
Wishing for things only she can see.
Hands raised high, picking up wind,
Catching lighting, let the fun begin.
Silver light filling her magic within,
Twisting, twinning around slender limbs.
Is she real or just a wisp of wind?
Lighting skies over stormy seas,
Nothing is what it seems to be.
Picture a girl, barefoot and free
Wishing for things only she can see.
Hands raised high, picking up wind
Catching lighting in hands so thin.
Silver light magic rushing higher,
Forces of nature obey her desire.
Dancing around her tiny white hand,
Instantly rushing to do her command.
Absorbing the storms might and rage,
This is not a girl but a powerful Mage.
2-9-2014Depression crashes beating me down a surging wave of despair,
Brings me down,
Leaving me sad, tired, hurting, and alone.
Wishing for things I can't have,
Mourning the loss of things that might have been,
Sadness shows in the reflection of my mirror,
No one to tell my tale to,
No advice to gain,
No one at all to hear my silent screams,
No one at all.
Empty, drained, tear blurred vision,
Turning the world to dark and murky blue grey seas,
Washing away what used to be me...
Remembering GeorgeSadness settles around me like silent subtle snow
Missing you the cause, ways and means of my despair
Thoughts of you swirl around my brain
A tornado of longing, missing you even in my dreams
Missing the sound of your voice,
Longing for a different choice,
Wishing to turn the hands of time,
Disregard the way things change
Sorrowful, lost, lonely days and nights
Adrift, alone, a lost weary soul
Haunted by memories of you
Longing to have you here again
Forever sadness reigns on this lone day
When you forever went away.
You love a lie, No matter how You love a lie,
No matter how much I try,
The tears upon my face,
Can not cover my disgrace.
You believe a beautiful lie,
The truth I try to hide,
Behind smiles and redundant lines,
If you knew the truth,
You would despise,
I am not pretty and whole,
I am a torn up, broken soul,
Day after day a battle is waged,
Guts twisted in knots denying the rage,
That inflames my brain,
My guilt and shame,
Finding delight and joy,
In being your toy,
Relishing your abuse,
Making me forget the truth,
Release the caged up beast,
Devouring pleasure like a savaged feast,
The bruises and pain,
Making me tame,
Allowing me to function and pretend,
The others just can’t comprehend,
Laughing with smiling eyes that lie,
The deep, dark truth I hide,
Safe from myself for awhile,
Keeping how much I revile,
This life I lead,
On pain and sorrow I feed,
Never knowing if this is the end,
Don’t wait for me my friend...
Hazy thoughts of silver grey, Hazy thoughts of silver grey,
All my thoughts come in colors these days,
Limpid pools of deep dark blue,
Floating in lazy circles of bright chartreuse,
Blinking back tears of violent red,
All these random displaced thoughts in my head,
Painting the ways in crimson and wine,
Mixed without measure, ignoring the lines,
Did you know gray comes in 99 shades?
Rolling through them all a dark path I blaze,
Tricks of light turn teal into lime,
Flitting away, where is the time?
I once saw the world in black and white,
Everything a dreary pitiful sight,
So drab, dull, and boring deep to my core,
Now I merrily play on rainbow bright shores,
Happy and gay, or sorrowful sad,
I’ll take them both the good and the bad,
Better than endless monotonous days,
Spent with no feelings at all I say,
I don’t even mind the days that leave me so blue,
Just so long as I can spend them with you.
I screamMy scream is loud.
My scream is honest.
My scream is desperate.
My scream is filled with truth.
Why would nobody hear me?
dearly belovedthese days
your name has been slipping
in and out of my rib cage
my heart forgets to beat.
how even after all these months i still
don't want to believe that
you're dead. how during the
first couple of weeks i prayed
to a god i didn't believe in and begged to know
if death tasted sweet to you. how once,
when the monsters in my head
didn't let me sleep, i
wrote you three poems and then
you were a supernova that
lit up my life for
a few radiant moments before,
like all good things in this
you came to an end.
the sinner in me hopes that you have wings now.
but i think that,
most of all,
i hope you no longer
remember what pain
Those Green Eyes (Or: Don't Lie to Your Kid)Those green eyes -
The green of joy
The green of hope
The green of love and acceptance -
Were always full of lies.
They first lied when I said,
After a nightmare at four am
When I was too small to reach a light switch,
“Will you ever leave me?”
And those eyes said,
Why did those green eyes
Shut when I needed them most?
"Are you okay?"
Would be a red line
That I would etch into myself
Those green eyes melted.
Those green eyes did shine
And I knew what it was -
I was young, not stupid -
But I indulged the lie,
For those green eyes.
"Will it get better?"
I asked one sunny Saturday
At ten in the morning
And those green eyes looked away;
“And you’ll be here forever?”
There were no words.
I made up my own affirmative.
Those green eyes -
When they saw
How I’d rubbed myself raw
I Tear My Skin AwayI Tear My Skin Away
I tear this skin from my body,
Even if the world screams,
That I am only an illusion.
I tear the bones from my legs,
Through pain, I will grow,
Through suffering, I will become.
I rip the muscles from my arms,
These teeth from my jaws...
And with nothing upon me,
I carry on...
Like a broken puppet, still shivering,
Still forcing its way through the darkness;
I tremble for I am nothing...
And yet, I am moving. My voice still screams...
I draw breath into these tired lungs,
As I rip the flesh away...
And I shatter these mirrors before me,
With a voice that will not break:
Because the world cannot label me as nothing,
And I will live for my own sake!
"So tell me, is that all the pain you've got for me?"
notes on a matchbook love.if I were the type
to say how I really felt,
I'd tell you that
I hope you choke on your apologies
like they're arsenic
and your nails are already
with the poison.
I'd let you know
that I'll never be a body
for you to touch
just because I know that's all you want.
I'll never be a fairy in a bottle
at your waist.
this is no storybook, and
I am no myth.
hear my silence,
feel the cold absence
respond to your weak "I'm sorry"s.
I beg you,
stop digging the hole,
stop, just stop.
Hush and watch the flames
engulf the image you sold me.
you can tell me
I'm beautiful as much
as you want,
but I know that it's not enough,
that you'll always want more,
that you've been a wolf
between my legs all this time
and my fingers are bruised
from holding the leash.
now every time you whisper
"please be okay",
I will always tell you that
I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.
I will forever pretend
that I've grown up from you,
that I've become a mystery
Let me dieGo away
Leave me alone
And let me die
Of this world
I don't want to live
Because there's no light
At the end of this tunnel
So I'll just end my life
Don't try to stop me
And we'll meet again
On the other side
Outside this dark tunnel
Wrists.Wrists are not made,
To be cut up by cold blades.
Blood was meant to stay in your veins,
Not to be drained.
From your body,
You're stronger than that,
I know a person can only take,
Until they break.
And you have your doubts,
And when you lay in bed,
The pain is all you think about.
But you're so much more,
Than your heart aches.
So much more,
Than your demons.
Even if you feel,
Like your dying,
And you are through with trying,
Because all you've been doing lately is crying.
I want you to know,
That no, you're not alone.
And you re going to survive.
Please just drop your knife,
Because you're going to,
Make it out alive.
words, wonderlight has faded and words are heavy,
but there is a delicate magic
twisting between your fingers.
it is all a-scribble
melisma without music;
syllables stitching terra firma
to firmament in intricate
stanzas that require
neither breath nor sound
to echo, infinite,
within the depths
of susurrous souls.
it is cold and it is dark,
but there is a fire in you
and you use it with a fierce grace
that illuminates the shadows,
and ignites the demons
until not even the grey spaces
that haunt and harry
can hold dominion.
they are exposed
they are broken
into shards of sunrise
and rays of a quiet
you scare away the night
with exhalations that blow
away the fogged emptiness
inside, over and over,
sparking fireworks from
what was thought
to be ash.
How It Began"God, your two o'clock is here."
"I have a two o'clock?"
"He's been here since 7:45. I figured it's only polite to... sir."
God sighed. "Fine, send him in."
While He waited God cleared His desk of papers and blueprints; no need for outsiders to see His plans. Soon enough the door to His office opened and God stood, smiled, held out a hand towards one of the two visitor's chairs.
"God! Great stuff you're doing in sector 2-7-0! Great stuff!"
The man's hands were clammy, his handshake limp. Rumpled suit, porkpie hat, briefcase... oh Jes-- oh dear, a salesman. God's smile slipped a little but He soldiered on gamely. With luck He could shoo the poor guy away in a few minutes.
"So, what can I do for you?"
The man sat, briefcase across his knees. "Sector 2-7-0! Everyone's talking about it! What do you call it? Man and merman?"
"Man and woman, actually. And thanks. But we're pretty busy around here, and..."
"Oh! Right! No time for the wicked, eh?" The salesman winked and popped his briefcase,
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More