|Deviant Login||Shop||Join deviantART for FREE||Take the Tour|
Betrayal BurnsBetrayal burns like a hot knife through my soul
Pain, sorrow, heart bleeding,
What once was is no more
Another stands by your side,
Left alone, bereft, abandoned,
Yesterday’s has been no longer the one
We reap what we sow,
I hope you are happy with your choices
Weary tears flow
Forever an eternity alone...
I ripped out my heart todayI ripped out my heart today
I ripped out my heart and threw it away
Since it’s gone, how come it still causes me so much pain?
I died today, I had to say it’s over, goodbye,
The pain of being with you alone was greater
Then the pain of being alone, I told myself
I lied, this hurts so much more
Tears cut like razor blades, streaming down my face
My chest an oozing open wound,
Looking through a veil of watery grey
My beating heart crushed and broken on the floor,
I threw love away, nothing matters any more...
Not the one for youI’m not the one for you
I’ll never be what you need,
If you don’t turn and leave
I’ll only make you bleed.
I’d never want to hurt you,
But I know I always will.
I belong to someone else,
I’ll always be under his spell.
Don’t tell me you love me,
I’ll never say I love you too.
I just need to be wanted,
If only for a while.
I’m not free to be yours,
I’ll never make you smile.
Run before it’s too late.
I’ll only make you cry,
I can’t even tell you why,
My touch is toxic,
My kisses will bring you hell.
Just leave, goodbye, farewell.
SadHe said, “You sound sad.”
Yes, I guess I am.
I miss how things used to be,
I miss how we used to be,
I wonder now was that just a dream,
was that just a might have been,
Seen through a haze, a romantic blaze of love.
Are you avoiding me?
If you want to be set free
Just tell me,
Being single is better than being together alone.
Don’t criticize my poem,
I didn’t write it for you.
Yes this is a selfish indulgent flood of my emotions
Written only for me.
As I sit here thinking of how we used to be,
He said I sound sad,
Well yeah, it’s because I am...
Lighting SkiesPicture a girl, barefoot and free,
Windswept hair streams;
Wishing for things only she can see.
Hands raised high, picking up wind,
Catching lighting, let the fun begin.
Silver light filling her magic within,
Twisting, twinning around slender limbs.
Is she real or just a wisp of wind?
Lighting skies over stormy seas,
Nothing is what it seems to be.
Picture a girl, barefoot and free
Wishing for things only she can see.
Hands raised high, picking up wind
Catching lighting in hands so thin.
Silver light magic rushing higher,
Forces of nature obey her desire.
Dancing around her tiny white hand,
Instantly rushing to do her command.
Absorbing the storms might and rage,
This is not a girl but a powerful Mage.
2-9-2014Depression crashes beating me down a surging wave of despair,
Brings me down,
Leaving me sad, tired, hurting, and alone.
Wishing for things I can't have,
Mourning the loss of things that might have been,
Sadness shows in the reflection of my mirror,
No one to tell my tale to,
No advice to gain,
No one at all to hear my silent screams,
No one at all.
Empty, drained, tear blurred vision,
Turning the world to dark and murky blue grey seas,
Washing away what used to be me...
Remembering GeorgeSadness settles around me like silent subtle snow
Missing you the cause, ways and means of my despair
Thoughts of you swirl around my brain
A tornado of longing, missing you even in my dreams
Missing the sound of your voice,
Longing for a different choice,
Wishing to turn the hands of time,
Disregard the way things change
Sorrowful, lost, lonely days and nights
Adrift, alone, a lost weary soul
Haunted by memories of you
Longing to have you here again
Forever sadness reigns on this lone day
When you forever went away.
You love a lie, No matter how You love a lie,
No matter how much I try,
The tears upon my face,
Can not cover my disgrace.
You believe a beautiful lie,
The truth I try to hide,
Behind smiles and redundant lines,
If you knew the truth,
You would despise,
I am not pretty and whole,
I am a torn up, broken soul,
Day after day a battle is waged,
Guts twisted in knots denying the rage,
That inflames my brain,
My guilt and shame,
Finding delight and joy,
In being your toy,
Relishing your abuse,
Making me forget the truth,
Release the caged up beast,
Devouring pleasure like a savaged feast,
The bruises and pain,
Making me tame,
Allowing me to function and pretend,
The others just can’t comprehend,
Laughing with smiling eyes that lie,
The deep, dark truth I hide,
Safe from myself for awhile,
Keeping how much I revile,
This life I lead,
On pain and sorrow I feed,
Never knowing if this is the end,
Don’t wait for me my friend...
Hazy thoughts of silver grey, Hazy thoughts of silver grey,
All my thoughts come in colors these days,
Limpid pools of deep dark blue,
Floating in lazy circles of bright chartreuse,
Blinking back tears of violent red,
All these random displaced thoughts in my head,
Painting the ways in crimson and wine,
Mixed without measure, ignoring the lines,
Did you know gray comes in 99 shades?
Rolling through them all a dark path I blaze,
Tricks of light turn teal into lime,
Flitting away, where is the time?
I once saw the world in black and white,
Everything a dreary pitiful sight,
So drab, dull, and boring deep to my core,
Now I merrily play on rainbow bright shores,
Happy and gay, or sorrowful sad,
I’ll take them both the good and the bad,
Better than endless monotonous days,
Spent with no feelings at all I say,
I don’t even mind the days that leave me so blue,
Just so long as I can spend them with you.
It's Okay to be ImperfectThe moon
Stand Against SuicideI know the pain is perhaps unbearable,
But darling, please put down the blade.
Release your emotions through tears and smiles,
Rather than dreading these days.
Do it for the little girl, whose mother can’t be there,
Or for the boy whose father drank too much.
For the boy who can’t sit in elementary school,
Because the bruises from Daddy hurt to touch.
For the teenage girl lying face down in her bed,
Thinking, why can’t it all be done?
For the elderly man looking up at the stars,
Counting the days one by one.
Do it for the children who wonder, does it end?
For the ones who feel left on their own.
For the ones who think, maybe it wouldn’t be so hard
If I didn’t feel so left alone.
And finally, do it for one other person,
The person in front of these words.
Because you’ll never know how it gets better
When focusing on pain and hurt.
Live one more day, dear, for them and for you,
And I swear to you, problems will fade.
I know, for right now, it’s p
Unable to loveMy love was pure
I only wanted
But my heart
Because my love
Like a piece of garbage
And now I'm unable
Because the shreds
Of my shattered soul
MathematicsI am but the sum of my
F L A W S;
a network of
S C A R S
a disaster of
D R E A M S
a shield of
B O N E S
C A L C U L A T I O N
a void of
I Thought I Needed FeminismI thought I needed feminism, when I was a little girl.
And I am very sad to admit, that this wasn't very long ago.
I thought when he held the door open for me, that he was making a big mistake.
That he was being a pompous ass, and he took my strength for a fake.
And when he offered to pay my tab, I still called him an ass.
Because I thought he assumed I was poor, and below middle class.
Or when his hard work earned him a promotion,
yet I did nothing, and the boss' ignorance to promote me, I believed was a sexist notion.
My friend really wanted feminism when she found her ex-dead drunk,
removed his clothes, and without his consent, had a pleasurable fuck.
When her parents bust into the room unexpected that night,
she said he raped her, and he was arrested without so much as a fight.
Perhaps feminism was there when I walked out into the street in pure nudity,
and shouted the my neighbors “You have no right to judge me!”
I didn't care about the children who were standing in th
to the girl i lose my words aroundi have been meaning to tell you for years:
i think you’re beautiful. i have
seen nothing on earth that holds a candle
to the ocean you carry inside your body.
it spills over your edges sometimes, like
a rain shower around you, blurring your penciled-in
lines until there is nothing left of you but your natural
cliffs, valleys, and deserts.
i like that.
i have never met someone who is, somehow,
a sea and a storm at the same time.
maybe i never will again.
maybe you are the only one
who gathers clouds on her forehead
like a promise, or feels the push and pull of the tide
with her every step.
you are beautiful, honestly.
you are honest, beautifully.
it is in the way you talk, the way you hold ice
on your tongue but forget to use it—
you always forget to use it, i don’t think
you know how.
to be truthful, i’m afraid of your smile
and how it breaks over me, how it pulls
me like a whirlpool down, how it pushes me
like a current back to the surface. i’m afraid of
DifferentDifferent on the outside,
Different mask you see daily,
Different girl you call ‘Hailey’
To my surprise
Your ears are distracted,
So I tell lies, looking into your eyes,
“Yea I’m fine. Simply tired”
For that response my brain is wired.
Different mouth you hear speaking,
Different voice you hear screaming
Different eyes you see pleading,
Different person you’d befriended
I’m sorry this is how it’s ended.
Unable to sleep lying awakeUnable to sleep lying awake.
Jumbled thoughts an endless quake.
Churning and broiling a tangled thread.
Events relieved over and over again.
Pondering and fretting the last words that were said.
An endless loop wondering what would be.
Had I only said this and not that, do you see?
Learning the hard way it's easier to leave things unsaid
Than recapture them once they've already fled.
Hurting you in a careless moment I sincerely regret.
Thoughts of your pain making me fret.
Desperately trying to make my amends.
Asking forgiveness and absolution again.
Finding too late some things can Never be unsaid.
Keep in Touch!