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I ripped out my heart todayI ripped out my heart today
I ripped out my heart and threw it away
Since it’s gone, how come it still causes me so much pain?
I died today, I had to say it’s over, goodbye,
The pain of being with you alone was greater
Then the pain of being alone, I told myself
I lied, this hurts so much more
Tears cut like razor blades, streaming down my face
My chest an oozing open wound,
Looking through a veil of watery grey
My beating heart crushed and broken on the floor,
I threw love away, nothing matters any more...
Not the one for youI’m not the one for you
I’ll never be what you need,
If you don’t turn and leave
I’ll only make you bleed.
I’d never want to hurt you,
But I know I always will.
I belong to someone else,
I’ll always be under his spell.
Don’t tell me you love me,
I’ll never say I love you too.
I just need to be wanted,
If only for a while.
I’m not free to be yours,
I’ll never make you smile.
Run before it’s too late.
I’ll only make you cry,
I can’t even tell you why,
My touch is toxic,
My kisses will bring you hell.
Just leave, goodbye, farewell.
SadHe said, “You sound sad.”
Yes, I guess I am.
I miss how things used to be,
I miss how we used to be,
I wonder now was that just a dream,
was that just a might have been,
Seen through a haze, a romantic blaze of love.
Are you avoiding me?
If you want to be set free
Just tell me,
Being single is better than being together alone.
Don’t criticize my poem,
I didn’t write it for you.
Yes this is a selfish indulgent flood of my emotions
Written only for me.
As I sit here thinking of how we used to be,
He said I sound sad,
Well yeah, it’s because I am...
Lighting SkiesPicture a girl, barefoot and free,
Windswept hair streams;
Wishing for things only she can see.
Hands raised high, picking up wind,
Catching lighting, let the fun begin.
Silver light filling her magic within,
Twisting, twinning around slender limbs.
Is she real or just a wisp of wind?
Lighting skies over stormy seas,
Nothing is what it seems to be.
Picture a girl, barefoot and free
Wishing for things only she can see.
Hands raised high, picking up wind
Catching lighting in hands so thin.
Silver light magic rushing higher,
Forces of nature obey her desire.
Dancing around her tiny white hand,
Instantly rushing to do her command.
Absorbing the storms might and rage,
This is not a girl but a powerful Mage.
2-9-2014Depression crashes beating me down a surging wave of despair,
Brings me down,
Leaving me sad, tired, hurting, and alone.
Wishing for things I can't have,
Mourning the loss of things that might have been,
Sadness shows in the reflection of my mirror,
No one to tell my tale to,
No advice to gain,
No one at all to hear my silent screams,
No one at all.
Empty, drained, tear blurred vision,
Turning the world to dark and murky blue grey seas,
Washing away what used to be me...
Remembering GeorgeSadness settles around me like silent subtle snow
Missing you the cause, ways and means of my despair
Thoughts of you swirl around my brain
A tornado of longing, missing you even in my dreams
Missing the sound of your voice,
Longing for a different choice,
Wishing to turn the hands of time,
Disregard the way things change
Sorrowful, lost, lonely days and nights
Adrift, alone, a lost weary soul
Haunted by memories of you
Longing to have you here again
Forever sadness reigns on this lone day
When you forever went away.
You love a lie, No matter how You love a lie,
No matter how much I try,
The tears upon my face,
Can not cover my disgrace.
You believe a beautiful lie,
The truth I try to hide,
Behind smiles and redundant lines,
If you knew the truth,
You would despise,
I am not pretty and whole,
I am a torn up, broken soul,
Day after day a battle is waged,
Guts twisted in knots denying the rage,
That inflames my brain,
My guilt and shame,
Finding delight and joy,
In being your toy,
Relishing your abuse,
Making me forget the truth,
Release the caged up beast,
Devouring pleasure like a savaged feast,
The bruises and pain,
Making me tame,
Allowing me to function and pretend,
The others just can’t comprehend,
Laughing with smiling eyes that lie,
The deep, dark truth I hide,
Safe from myself for awhile,
Keeping how much I revile,
This life I lead,
On pain and sorrow I feed,
Never knowing if this is the end,
Don’t wait for me my friend...
Hazy thoughts of silver grey, Hazy thoughts of silver grey,
All my thoughts come in colors these days,
Limpid pools of deep dark blue,
Floating in lazy circles of bright chartreuse,
Blinking back tears of violent red,
All these random displaced thoughts in my head,
Painting the ways in crimson and wine,
Mixed without measure, ignoring the lines,
Did you know gray comes in 99 shades?
Rolling through them all a dark path I blaze,
Tricks of light turn teal into lime,
Flitting away, where is the time?
I once saw the world in black and white,
Everything a dreary pitiful sight,
So drab, dull, and boring deep to my core,
Now I merrily play on rainbow bright shores,
Happy and gay, or sorrowful sad,
I’ll take them both the good and the bad,
Better than endless monotonous days,
Spent with no feelings at all I say,
I don’t even mind the days that leave me so blue,
Just so long as I can spend them with you.
All Hallows EveDarkness creeps across my soul
Leaving me no where to go
Thoughts most foul seep into my head
Ways and means to join the dead
Row on row of sorrowful led
To weeping stands of willowy bled
Night sounds howling in scattered chorus
Lonely hours spend staring at moon lit forest
Feebly flickering candle light vainly
Fights the darkness losing plainly
Wind blows hard shaking slim walls
Imagination wanders filling the blackest halls
Slinking furtive creatures most rare
Shivering huddled in my chair, so scared
Too afraid to move or fight
Locked in tortured mental fright
Glad at last to see day’s first light
As this night of dead once again takes flight.
My mind deals with
Overcomes my judgement
Today it's no different
I can't take it anymore
Observing my image but
Nothing is revealed
I Saw a Burning ManIn front of my house, he sat.
Skin burnt off, now charred and black.
Hesitantly, I walked outside.
And he followed me with his watery eyes.
With steps as nimble as the snow,
I hid my fear and continued to go.
Now before him, the Burning Man.
I kindly offered him my shaky hand.
No malice nor vice leaked off of him,
rather sadness and agony which simmered below his skin.
I could feel it around me, the pain and despair,
yet, physically the man was nearly repaired.
For his scorched skin was not his problem,
instead the bottled emotions that devoured all of him.
“Would you like to come inside sir, and stay?”
In which he replied by looking away.
Again I asked, and received no reply,
and was startled when the man began to cry.
Unsure of what to do, I walked away,
Yet I’ll never forget what happened that day.
Be it from pain, or mute, or undisclosed desires,
I watched as the man was engulfed in fire.
I stood back in awe, with my mouth agape,
and feared that he had fallen into
little victories.when i was younger,
i thought i was the strongest
little girl in the world
because i could easily
beat my older brother
at arm wrestling.
it wasn't until years later
that i realized
To the person who holds my best friend's heart...I know that is is kind of weird
But I felt that I should write this down.
I need to tell you what I feel
And tell you what he means to me.
He's my best friend and he's a good man.
Please, give him the love and respect he deserves.
He may seem goofy but he's very sweet.
I know this because he was always there for me when I was sad.
Now, I know that you're not bad
Cause he would never choose someone who's mean.
But I still want to tell you just in case you forget in the future;
Please don't break his heart.
He's been through so much
And he doesn't deserve something like that.
He is the kind of person who smiles even when he's hurt by others
And would take any pain for the people he loves.
I know, I've witnessed it.
I know he may seem kind of childish sometimes
But don't let it get to you.
It's just his way of expressing himself.
He's very caring and I'm sure he'll do anything to make you happy.
He doesn't look like it but he's very kind and thoughtful.
He'll put your needs before h
in which I gain sentiencesave room
for doubt, in the silence between
religious guilt and stolen
body heat. I am made of helium.
in my dreams they
pop me and
watch me flutter. I wonder if everyone
else’s head is so congested as mine,
hyperactive with inattentive people.
you are never serious--
he stares at me in a different
set of eyes; there are words
I cannot say, there are
things I cannot tell you.
(twice a week
I watch the people I love
leave me for good.
spiders in my throat,
And There Was Lighti.
He was seventeen when he died.
I never went to the funeral
but I walked past it the day of
the service. His mother
was in the backseat of a blue Dodge,
door open, head in her hands.
"My baby," she kept repeating.
"My baby." It would go from sobbing, to
screaming, to a soft whisper that
I could only hear being carried
on the wind.
It was a Wednesday afternoon that they found
his old red pickup truck parked
out front of Slim's, two beer bottles in
the back and the windows cracked to let the stale
I heard that his dad told the police he was
gonna take that old truck and fix it up, because
he had promised his son before—
because it's always in the before—
And in the after, his mother never had dry eyes
and I'm pretty sure my mom told me
that she saw his dad at the bar every night,
drinking his sorrows down because some people can't
handle the stress.
Some people can't figure out why their son would
"Some men just want to w
Can you look deeper?You see that girl you just bullied?
The one you harassed over her choice of art?
The art of a man beating a woman to death?
She saw her father kill her mother when she was five.
You know that man who likes to photograph himself in dresses?
The one you called a homo because of his choice of clothing?
Well, his parents wanted him to be a girl instead of a boy.
So they made him dress like that everyday to pretend he was a girl.
You know that woman who writes stories about child rape?
The one you bullied until she didn’t know how to cope with life anymore
Her uncle has been in jail for the past eleven years.
He raped her daily for seven years of her life.
What about that guy who favored abstract artwork?
Do you remember him he liked to use the colors red and black a lot.
He was nearly beaten to death when he was fourteen.
He only knows nightmares because he remembers seeing his blood on the wall.
What about me? Do you remember me? Even just a teensy little bit?
You bullied me because
Not MineLess than ten minutes
That's all I could claim of your time today.
Still I'm flying a mile high.
Face sore from excessive grinning.
Happy and singing, loving you.
Wishing to spend hours, days, years,
Just holding, talking, being with you.
Telling myself to be content.
Taking what you can give, giving all that I can.
Wishing for more, knowing the futility of it.
Telling myself I'm not jealous.
To love someone so much can't be wrong.
I'd rather share than do without.
Only saying "Mine" to myself
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Bluefley has a gallery filled with artwork that whisks you off in to a Sci-fi daydream, and keeps you captivated for hours. Marc has been a member of our community for over a decade and has achieved nothing but success with his astounding commitment to interacting with the community, sharing a prolific amount of video tutorials and generally being an all round rockstar deviant. It is no joke that we are absolutely delighted to award the Deviousness Award for April 2014 to ... Read More