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Betrayal BurnsBetrayal burns like a hot knife through my soul
Pain, sorrow, heart bleeding,
What once was is no more
Another stands by your side,
Left alone, bereft, abandoned,
Yesterday’s has been no longer the one
We reap what we sow,
I hope you are happy with your choices
Weary tears flow
Forever an eternity alone...
I ripped out my heart todayI ripped out my heart today
I ripped out my heart and threw it away
Since it’s gone, how come it still causes me so much pain?
I died today, I had to say it’s over, goodbye,
The pain of being with you alone was greater
Then the pain of being alone, I told myself
I lied, this hurts so much more
Tears cut like razor blades, streaming down my face
My chest an oozing open wound,
Looking through a veil of watery grey
My beating heart crushed and broken on the floor,
I threw love away, nothing matters any more...
Not the one for youI’m not the one for you
I’ll never be what you need,
If you don’t turn and leave
I’ll only make you bleed.
I’d never want to hurt you,
But I know I always will.
I belong to someone else,
I’ll always be under his spell.
Don’t tell me you love me,
I’ll never say I love you too.
I just need to be wanted,
If only for a while.
I’m not free to be yours,
I’ll never make you smile.
Run before it’s too late.
I’ll only make you cry,
I can’t even tell you why,
My touch is toxic,
My kisses will bring you hell.
Just leave, goodbye, farewell.
SadHe said, “You sound sad.”
Yes, I guess I am.
I miss how things used to be,
I miss how we used to be,
I wonder now was that just a dream,
was that just a might have been,
Seen through a haze, a romantic blaze of love.
Are you avoiding me?
If you want to be set free
Just tell me,
Being single is better than being together alone.
Don’t criticize my poem,
I didn’t write it for you.
Yes this is a selfish indulgent flood of my emotions
Written only for me.
As I sit here thinking of how we used to be,
He said I sound sad,
Well yeah, it’s because I am...
Lighting SkiesPicture a girl, barefoot and free,
Windswept hair streams;
Wishing for things only she can see.
Hands raised high, picking up wind,
Catching lighting, let the fun begin.
Silver light filling her magic within,
Twisting, twinning around slender limbs.
Is she real or just a wisp of wind?
Lighting skies over stormy seas,
Nothing is what it seems to be.
Picture a girl, barefoot and free
Wishing for things only she can see.
Hands raised high, picking up wind
Catching lighting in hands so thin.
Silver light magic rushing higher,
Forces of nature obey her desire.
Dancing around her tiny white hand,
Instantly rushing to do her command.
Absorbing the storms might and rage,
This is not a girl but a powerful Mage.
2-9-2014Depression crashes beating me down a surging wave of despair,
Brings me down,
Leaving me sad, tired, hurting, and alone.
Wishing for things I can't have,
Mourning the loss of things that might have been,
Sadness shows in the reflection of my mirror,
No one to tell my tale to,
No advice to gain,
No one at all to hear my silent screams,
No one at all.
Empty, drained, tear blurred vision,
Turning the world to dark and murky blue grey seas,
Washing away what used to be me...
Remembering GeorgeSadness settles around me like silent subtle snow
Missing you the cause, ways and means of my despair
Thoughts of you swirl around my brain
A tornado of longing, missing you even in my dreams
Missing the sound of your voice,
Longing for a different choice,
Wishing to turn the hands of time,
Disregard the way things change
Sorrowful, lost, lonely days and nights
Adrift, alone, a lost weary soul
Haunted by memories of you
Longing to have you here again
Forever sadness reigns on this lone day
When you forever went away.
You love a lie, No matter how You love a lie,
No matter how much I try,
The tears upon my face,
Can not cover my disgrace.
You believe a beautiful lie,
The truth I try to hide,
Behind smiles and redundant lines,
If you knew the truth,
You would despise,
I am not pretty and whole,
I am a torn up, broken soul,
Day after day a battle is waged,
Guts twisted in knots denying the rage,
That inflames my brain,
My guilt and shame,
Finding delight and joy,
In being your toy,
Relishing your abuse,
Making me forget the truth,
Release the caged up beast,
Devouring pleasure like a savaged feast,
The bruises and pain,
Making me tame,
Allowing me to function and pretend,
The others just can’t comprehend,
Laughing with smiling eyes that lie,
The deep, dark truth I hide,
Safe from myself for awhile,
Keeping how much I revile,
This life I lead,
On pain and sorrow I feed,
Never knowing if this is the end,
Don’t wait for me my friend...
Hazy thoughts of silver grey, Hazy thoughts of silver grey,
All my thoughts come in colors these days,
Limpid pools of deep dark blue,
Floating in lazy circles of bright chartreuse,
Blinking back tears of violent red,
All these random displaced thoughts in my head,
Painting the ways in crimson and wine,
Mixed without measure, ignoring the lines,
Did you know gray comes in 99 shades?
Rolling through them all a dark path I blaze,
Tricks of light turn teal into lime,
Flitting away, where is the time?
I once saw the world in black and white,
Everything a dreary pitiful sight,
So drab, dull, and boring deep to my core,
Now I merrily play on rainbow bright shores,
Happy and gay, or sorrowful sad,
I’ll take them both the good and the bad,
Better than endless monotonous days,
Spent with no feelings at all I say,
I don’t even mind the days that leave me so blue,
Just so long as I can spend them with you.
How to be Populardon’t talk
go to parties
listen to friends
go with the flow
drink some more
don’t let them see the tears
as you cry yourself to sleep
for the most important thing
is to be popular
i'm not going to lie and say she was perfect.her skin was spotted with what she passed off as freckles,
but what were really scars from a thousand summer suns
as she ran about outside,
climbing trees and treading rivers,
pretending to be an american bomber
in the midst of WWII.
she kept crimson stains on pearl pink lips,
which always had the habit of getting on her teeth
because she put on make-up after dressing in her car
and ordering coffee in every way she hated it
as she drove to the record store three times a day,
ignoring her job downtown.
she owned four and a half hairbrushes exactly,
i took count on the first night i stepped into that whirl-wind room,
though her lopsided up-dos of messy blonde hair revealed just how much her fingers
never broke the dust.
she had these lovely fragile hands
that showed each and every vein and bone,
the type of hands made for tearing boys like me apart.
how could i have even expected to survive,
a paper poet
held against a reckless flame?
Panic attackIt hits me like a wave,
These thoughts of fear and regret.
They swarm all around me,
Trapping me inside my own head.
Pretty soon, I am suffocating,
Please someone save me!
My heart beat races,
As does the thoughts that pick up the pace.
Of sending me memories I've kept and buried so long inside.
They've come back to haunt me tonight.
And as soon as it came,
It was gone,
Leaving me here.
And what was left of me,
The sound of silenceThe sound of silence,
Is so deafening,
That it makes my ears ring,
With the cacophony of my own insanity.
Being afraid to speakThe unpleasantries of past events
Were driven by the voices of contempt
Leaving me breathless
To that effect, I was left senseless
And when I laid under the covers
As I tried to warm myself from the cold stares
I shiver, as my skin turned white
By the solace of silence
But, as I overcame their sadness
I learned to embrace the cold
Until I was able to give warmth to others
DNAyou are content
because every day
you have the opportunity to
hug both sets of your DNA.
however, i am not content.
half of me is missing
and the other half
is hardly ever here.
Ideationlocked in a room
with only one escape,
or so it seems.
your hands shake and you drop the key.
Suddenly you're unsure.
Do I want to pick it up?
Do I want to find it?
Do I want to leave?
you think to yourself
there's no other choice.
find the key or corrode, or rust
wear down the hinge
use sadness as the key.
You have the answer now.
Just open the door.
Just walk outside and don't look back.
Let yourself leave with no regrets.
And yet you can't.
You're afraid, you think,
but you are actually strong.
Don't run away.
Don't take that leap.
my bedspread is white and so is my coffin.i can feel
the night closing
the stars are breaking
empty glass bottles
inside of my
mouth, and they taste like
ambien. bitter, then
but you still can't close your fucking eyes
little blue pills for
eyes– it was winter and i
dreams of nothing more than
nothing. the devil
tied chains around all the
vessels in my
body. laughed, and by god i
laughed too (and laughedandlaughedandlaughed).
this will all be over soon i swear i will take everything off your skin and bones and burn it up
and then january took the world
in it's grip and i
drowned in the snow that
will never hydrate the
can you hear that it's the night and it's so beautiful so come here darling and we'll watch the sun rise and set and rise and
Not MineLess than ten minutes
That's all I could claim of your time today.
Still I'm flying a mile high.
Face sore from excessive grinning.
Happy and singing, loving you.
Wishing to spend hours, days, years,
Just holding, talking, being with you.
Telling myself to be content.
Taking what you can give, giving all that I can.
Wishing for more, knowing the futility of it.
Telling myself I'm not jealous.
To love someone so much can't be wrong.
I'd rather share than do without.
Only saying "Mine" to myself
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Endorell-Taelos is very well known within the community for her selfless giving and gracious community spirit. Since joining DeviantART over seven years ago, Alicia has continued to make a positive impact on many deviants. Her helpful and thoughtful approach was one of her finest attributes when serving as a Community Volunteer, and this has continued throughout the many contests which Alicia provides on a regular basis. As we approach our Birthday celebrations, we can't... Read More