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Betrayal BurnsBetrayal burns like a hot knife through my soul
Pain, sorrow, heart bleeding,
What once was is no more
Another stands by your side,
Left alone, bereft, abandoned,
Yesterday’s has been no longer the one
We reap what we sow,
I hope you are happy with your choices
Weary tears flow
Forever an eternity alone...
I ripped out my heart todayI ripped out my heart today
I ripped out my heart and threw it away
Since it’s gone, how come it still causes me so much pain?
I died today, I had to say it’s over, goodbye,
The pain of being with you alone was greater
Then the pain of being alone, I told myself
I lied, this hurts so much more
Tears cut like razor blades, streaming down my face
My chest an oozing open wound,
Looking through a veil of watery grey
My beating heart crushed and broken on the floor,
I threw love away, nothing matters any more...
Not the one for youI’m not the one for you
I’ll never be what you need,
If you don’t turn and leave
I’ll only make you bleed.
I’d never want to hurt you,
But I know I always will.
I belong to someone else,
I’ll always be under his spell.
Don’t tell me you love me,
I’ll never say I love you too.
I just need to be wanted,
If only for a while.
I’m not free to be yours,
I’ll never make you smile.
Run before it’s too late.
I’ll only make you cry,
I can’t even tell you why,
My touch is toxic,
My kisses will bring you hell.
Just leave, goodbye, farewell.
SadHe said, “You sound sad.”
Yes, I guess I am.
I miss how things used to be,
I miss how we used to be,
I wonder now was that just a dream,
was that just a might have been,
Seen through a haze, a romantic blaze of love.
Are you avoiding me?
If you want to be set free
Just tell me,
Being single is better than being together alone.
Don’t criticize my poem,
I didn’t write it for you.
Yes this is a selfish indulgent flood of my emotions
Written only for me.
As I sit here thinking of how we used to be,
He said I sound sad,
Well yeah, it’s because I am...
Lighting SkiesPicture a girl, barefoot and free,
Windswept hair streams;
Wishing for things only she can see.
Hands raised high, picking up wind,
Catching lighting, let the fun begin.
Silver light filling her magic within,
Twisting, twinning around slender limbs.
Is she real or just a wisp of wind?
Lighting skies over stormy seas,
Nothing is what it seems to be.
Picture a girl, barefoot and free
Wishing for things only she can see.
Hands raised high, picking up wind
Catching lighting in hands so thin.
Silver light magic rushing higher,
Forces of nature obey her desire.
Dancing around her tiny white hand,
Instantly rushing to do her command.
Absorbing the storms might and rage,
This is not a girl but a powerful Mage.
2-9-2014Depression crashes beating me down a surging wave of despair,
Brings me down,
Leaving me sad, tired, hurting, and alone.
Wishing for things I can't have,
Mourning the loss of things that might have been,
Sadness shows in the reflection of my mirror,
No one to tell my tale to,
No advice to gain,
No one at all to hear my silent screams,
No one at all.
Empty, drained, tear blurred vision,
Turning the world to dark and murky blue grey seas,
Washing away what used to be me...
Remembering GeorgeSadness settles around me like silent subtle snow
Missing you the cause, ways and means of my despair
Thoughts of you swirl around my brain
A tornado of longing, missing you even in my dreams
Missing the sound of your voice,
Longing for a different choice,
Wishing to turn the hands of time,
Disregard the way things change
Sorrowful, lost, lonely days and nights
Adrift, alone, a lost weary soul
Haunted by memories of you
Longing to have you here again
Forever sadness reigns on this lone day
When you forever went away.
You love a lie, No matter how You love a lie,
No matter how much I try,
The tears upon my face,
Can not cover my disgrace.
You believe a beautiful lie,
The truth I try to hide,
Behind smiles and redundant lines,
If you knew the truth,
You would despise,
I am not pretty and whole,
I am a torn up, broken soul,
Day after day a battle is waged,
Guts twisted in knots denying the rage,
That inflames my brain,
My guilt and shame,
Finding delight and joy,
In being your toy,
Relishing your abuse,
Making me forget the truth,
Release the caged up beast,
Devouring pleasure like a savaged feast,
The bruises and pain,
Making me tame,
Allowing me to function and pretend,
The others just can’t comprehend,
Laughing with smiling eyes that lie,
The deep, dark truth I hide,
Safe from myself for awhile,
Keeping how much I revile,
This life I lead,
On pain and sorrow I feed,
Never knowing if this is the end,
Don’t wait for me my friend...
Hazy thoughts of silver grey, Hazy thoughts of silver grey,
All my thoughts come in colors these days,
Limpid pools of deep dark blue,
Floating in lazy circles of bright chartreuse,
Blinking back tears of violent red,
All these random displaced thoughts in my head,
Painting the ways in crimson and wine,
Mixed without measure, ignoring the lines,
Did you know gray comes in 99 shades?
Rolling through them all a dark path I blaze,
Tricks of light turn teal into lime,
Flitting away, where is the time?
I once saw the world in black and white,
Everything a dreary pitiful sight,
So drab, dull, and boring deep to my core,
Now I merrily play on rainbow bright shores,
Happy and gay, or sorrowful sad,
I’ll take them both the good and the bad,
Better than endless monotonous days,
Spent with no feelings at all I say,
I don’t even mind the days that leave me so blue,
Just so long as I can spend them with you.
Unable to loveMy love was pure
I only wanted
But my heart
Because my love
Like a piece of garbage
And now I'm unable
Because the shreds
Of my shattered soul
MathematicsI am but the sum of my
F L A W S;
a network of
S C A R S
a disaster of
D R E A M S
a shield of
B O N E S
C A L C U L A T I O N
a void of
to the girl i lose my words aroundi have been meaning to tell you for years:
i think you’re beautiful. i have
seen nothing on earth that holds a candle
to the ocean you carry inside your body.
it spills over your edges sometimes, like
a rain shower around you, blurring your penciled-in
lines until there is nothing left of you but your natural
cliffs, valleys, and deserts.
i like that.
i have never met someone who is, somehow,
a sea and a storm at the same time.
maybe i never will again.
maybe you are the only one
who gathers clouds on her forehead
like a promise, or feels the push and pull of the tide
with her every step.
you are beautiful, honestly.
you are honest, beautifully.
it is in the way you talk, the way you hold ice
on your tongue but forget to use it—
you always forget to use it, i don’t think
you know how.
to be truthful, i’m afraid of your smile
and how it breaks over me, how it pulls
me like a whirlpool down, how it pushes me
like a current back to the surface. i’m afraid of
Abuse Is Sometimes NecessaryPush and pull at her long hair, topple her to the solid ground,
elbow her sharply in the raw gut, shove her harshly around.
Scratch him in the pale face, punch him in the broken jaw,
do anything necessary to him that's considered breaking the law.
And when she cries because you've punched her, let her be,
and observe her when she returns to her habitual smoking.
When she passes out next day, because she's drunken too much booze,
slap her in the face once more, though many would consider it abuse.
When he can hardly walk because he thinks he's high in the clouds,
rip the needle out of his arm, and with your nails, slash him across the sweaty brow.
Grab them and shake them till their battered and bruised,
tear at their heart, scream in their ears until you've reached the point of verbal abuse.
And when she falls into your chest, and he collapses to the ground,
pull them closely, and whisper, “We can turn this all around.”
And rehab is a necessity for all of you, because you'v
ScienceI am more than my
F L A W S;
a masterpiece of
S C A R S
a delicacy of
D R E A M S
a sculpture of
B O N E S
R E A C T I O N
a well of
i am made of nights like theseativan boy, you cannot empty out this skull -
not with a pen nor with a bullet. you can
be my hallowed head(case) for spitting out
words like teeth; oh, but i will only love you
when you're weary. i will keep crows caged
between your lungs like veins, like palpitations.
i will rot you through bones & car radios,
but i will never get (you) out of your skin.
Good (Great, Greater, Greatest, You)Good (Great, Greater, Greatest, You)
I hope the title caught your eye,
because this is about you.
Many of us speak in superlatives
and ambiguous language.
In imagery-laden text masquerading
underneath double entendres
keeping us from a part of the truth.
But purple streaks and red bands,
harp strings and soft hands
don't begin to explain
the love I have for you.
So I lay these words down
simple in its vulnerability,
blemished and raw in its purity.
The term lissome fits you in many ways,
but not necessarily it its textbook form.
I speak on the part that is not readily seen
but what is easily most cogent.
Your consciousness' cognizance
is graceful in the way
you fold one syllable over
another, supple in its meaning
that can take many forms
going from idle lies
to how we idolize hollow eyes
and uncovered hip bones.
Elegance is an understatement,
but I refuse to speak in cliche superlatives.
I speak honestly
but not with exaggerated grandeur.
Because your immediate app
now i see the stars.there was a time when i
couldn't catch my breath whenever i
thought about you , (crippled lungs and-
boy, you hit me like an asteroid,
there's a crater on my chest now that I can't ever seem to fill,
oceans of my tears cried on
nights when you couldn't be there to sing me to sleep.
thirty two poemless days after you joined the constellations,
i walked out into the yard and howled to the empty sky,
for a moment i was Gaea, rivers running down my cheeks,
weighted to the ground and
buried in myself, but
where there is no light there are no shadows, and
sometimes, i wonder if i miss me.
yes, i do.
i may not see the moon, but
A broken heartI promised myself I'll never fall in love
Whenever I fall in love I feel renewed and happy
But like a drug
Once everything finishes
I'm crying, depressed and the wreckage of my heart
I always end up feeling worse
I want to find someone that is special
But I'm afraid to suffer again
I'm afraid of losing another person
Do not want to suffer
Do not make me suffer, do not lie to me
Do not hurt me, no more
I will not hold on to people who only sink me
I'll be free and live with have left
A cold and lonely spirit.
Not MineLess than ten minutes
That's all I could claim of your time today.
Still I'm flying a mile high.
Face sore from excessive grinning.
Happy and singing, loving you.
Wishing to spend hours, days, years,
Just holding, talking, being with you.
Telling myself to be content.
Taking what you can give, giving all that I can.
Wishing for more, knowing the futility of it.
Telling myself I'm not jealous.
To love someone so much can't be wrong.
I'd rather share than do without.
Only saying "Mine" to myself
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